August 8, 2008
Comply. Resistance is futile.
Sadly this is the stance of 90% (statistical number not proved by research – NOTE TO SELF: research this properly) of employees out there. And this is how 99% of companies would like you to behave.
- Don’t be an asshole.
- Don’t divert attention away from the mission and vision of the organization.
- Don’t cause problems that are bigger than the problem we’re trying to solve.
- If you don’t like it, leave.
And here is the explanation of it. The REAL explanation.
Don’t be an asshole. Do not think of yourself when everyone around you does only this and does not consider what you want – ever. You are not important, and when you do try to raise a question about your status, then you’re an asshole.
Don’t divert attention away from the mission and vision of the organization. Do not think for yourself, do not see through the lies in the mission and vision statements of the organization, and NEVER EVER call the organization on their lies. And god (yes – lowercase) help you if you should dare to say the truth to the press or business partners.
Don’t cause problems that are bigger than the problem we’re trying to solve. Do not try and think outside the box (even though your company keeps telling you how they are sooo innovative) and try to find a different, BETTER way of solving problems. Also, do not try to think about why you are even solving that particular problem – you are not here to think, you are here to be a mindless drone (even if they keep telling you otherwise).
If you don’t like it, leave. I actually agree with this one – do leave. The sooner the better. But this one line tells you what EVERY COMPANY thinks of you. Sad, but true.
This is the world we live in. And Human Resources is just one department that is there to protect the company from you, not to help you in any way.
Do not be like everyone else. Do not be scared shitless and call your company on BULLSHIT when you see it. But of course, you will not. And Human Resources and Public Releations departments are there to protect the company from you when you do.
August 7, 2008
I’ve always had beef with the whole concept oh Human Resources (how grand (and demeaning) it sounds). But reading this blog (and others on the same topic) I just have to be in awe of how these people are just as dismissive in blogosphere as they are in person. Sure, in all fairness, there just has to be one person working in HR that is normal and likable, but 99% of them are incredibly rude, dismissive and couldn’t care less for the Human Resources they manage.
The actual post I wish to talk about here is Job Application Lies and Interview Truths – Ask HR Wench by HR Wench.
A reader asks,
Should I admit to potential employers that I was fired? I heard that by law, potential employers can’t ask previous employers if you were discharged (fired). Is this true? (…)
And hr wench replies, (original bold codes)
Where do people hear these things? (…)
No, it is not against any federal or state law that I know of for potential employers to ask your previous employers if you were fired.
In fact, if such a law exists in the USA, I will eat my keyboard. With ketchup.
Now, of course that such law does not exist. Not in the US, not anywhere. But it should!! Most companies nowadays do have policies where they only give out neutral information, and this is the fair thing to do. Anything else is not only rude, but give too much power to the former employers. Of course, there is no law against it. And wouldn’t you know it, a charming reply from a person responsible of managing human beings. Manage away…
Further along, the topic develops – is it alright to withhold or out right lie about these facts (and others) to the potential employee. Of course, the answer is no in the rosy world of human resources.
My advice: YES, DO LIE ABOUT IT! Lie about the silly things that might not get you hired, because you do need to eat, remember – your children too. Do not lie about the things you will need to do on the job – example: managing MSSQL data base. But for the rest of the stuff – LIE!
And do remember that your potential employer is lying to you too. The job sounds oh so wonderful now – in a job interview. But, wait – there is a job description and there is real life job – yes, you know it – the one where your boss does almost no work and you end up doing it, or your coworkers always argue, or the company promises you salary increases every year and perks that never come to pass.
In my personal opinion, EVERYONE needs to always plan on going ‘solo’ someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later. You must be your own boss if you are smart, innovative and enthusiastic – because very few companies will reward you properly. If you are not smart, innovative or enthusiastic then you really need to lie, or live a romantic life on the streets.
(…) There is something wrong with lying to a potential or current employer.
Third, if I sit down to an interview and a candidate tells me they lied on the application and would now like to tell me the real story, I am DONE with them. I will not hire someone that is blatantly dishonest & wastes my time. (…)
Let us put aside the logic (and the probability) of lying in a resume, then storming in and admitting everything in tears to the HR person. Imagine that, blatantly dishonest person wasting the time of a person who manages human resources. Who are you – hungry, cold and in tears – to demand time of such an individual who (BTW) contributes to society how exactly? At least you (if you get hired) would produce something (some code, some wool coats, some fish sticks).
Then, go apply for jobs and be honest on the applications and in interviews.
Honesty = Do NOT Get Hired. Think, please, if you will… How many employees would be hired if they all told the truth on questions such as: what is your weakness, how do handle work with 17 other (random) colleagues, where do you see yourself in 5 years…
That is ridiculous. But let us end with, what I feel, a REALLY sarcastic quote from HR Wench:
Best of luck!