Scared Shitless

Punk Rock Employee Handbook by Laurie Ruettimann) brings more insight into the wonderful world of Human Resources.

Comply. Resistance is futile.

Sadly this is the stance of 90% (statistical number not proved by research – NOTE TO SELF: research this properly) of employees out there. And this is how 99% of companies would like you to behave.

Consider it:

Don’t be an asshole.

Don’t divert attention away from the mission and vision of the organization.

Don’t cause problems that are bigger than the problem we’re trying to solve.

If you don’t like it, leave.

And here is the explanation of it. The REAL explanation.

Don’t be an asshole. Do not think of yourself when everyone around you does only this and does not consider what you want – ever. You are not important, and when you do try to raise a question about your status, then you’re an asshole.

Don’t divert attention away from the mission and vision of the organization. Do not think for yourself, do not see through the lies in the mission and vision statements of the organization, and NEVER EVER call the organization on their lies. And god (yes – lowercase) help you if you should dare to say the truth to the press or business partners.

Don’t cause problems that are bigger than the problem we’re trying to solve. Do not try and think outside the box (even though your company keeps telling you how they are sooo innovative) and try to find a different, BETTER way of solving problems. Also, do not try to think about why you are even solving that particular problem – you are not here to think, you are here to be a mindless drone (even if they keep telling you otherwise).

If you don’t like it, leave. I actually agree with this one – do leave. The sooner the better. But this one line tells you what EVERY COMPANY thinks of you. Sad, but true.

This is the world we live in. And Human Resources is just one department that is there to protect the company from you, not to help you in any way.

Do not be like everyone else. Do not be scared shitless and call your company on BULLSHIT when you see it. But of course, you will not. And Human Resources and Public Releations departments are there to protect the company from you when you do.