Lies, Damn Lies, Statistics and – Mission Statements

From the wonderful guys and (hopefully!) girls of hr.alltop.com > I came across a HR Wench (Jenn Barnes) blog that ticked me off enough to start this blog.

I’ve always had beef with the whole concept oh Human Resources (how grand (and demeaning) it sounds). But reading this blog (and others on the same topic) I just have to be in awe of how these people are just as dismissive in blogosphere as they are in person. Sure, in all fairness, there just has to be one person working in HR that is normal and likable, but 99% of them are incredibly rude, dismissive and couldn’t care less for the Human Resources they manage.

The actual post I wish to talk about here is Job Application Lies and Interview Truths – Ask HR Wench by HR Wench.

A reader asks,

Should I admit to potential employers that I was fired? I heard that by law, potential employers can’t ask previous employers if you were discharged (fired).  Is this true? (…)

And hr wench replies, (original bold codes)

Where do people hear these things? (…)

No, it is not against any federal or state law that I know of for potential employers to ask your previous employers if you were fired.

In fact, if such a law exists in the USA, I will eat my keyboard. With ketchup.

Now, of course that such law does not exist. Not in the US, not anywhere. But it should!! Most companies nowadays do have policies where they only give out neutral information, and this is the fair thing to do. Anything else is not only rude, but give too much power to the former employers. Of course, there is no law against it. And wouldn’t you know it, a charming reply from a person responsible of managing human beings. Manage away…

Further along, the topic develops – is it alright to withhold or out right lie about these facts (and others) to the potential employee. Of course, the answer is no in the rosy world of human resources.

My advice: YES, DO LIE ABOUT IT! Lie about the silly things that might not get you hired, because you do need to eat, remember – your children too. Do not lie about the things you will need to do on the job – example: managing MSSQL data base. But for the rest of the stuff – LIE!

And do remember that your potential employer is lying to you too. The job sounds oh so wonderful now – in a job interview. But, wait – there is a job description and there is real life job – yes, you know it – the one where your boss does almost no work and you end up doing it, or your coworkers always argue, or the company promises you salary increases every year and perks that never come to pass.

In my personal opinion, EVERYONE needs to always plan on going ‘solo’ someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later. You must be your own boss if you are smart, innovative and enthusiastic – because very few companies will reward you properly. If you are not smart, innovative or enthusiastic then you really need to lie, or live a romantic life on the streets.

(…) There is something wrong with lying to a potential or current employer.

(…)

Third, if I sit down to an interview and a candidate tells me they lied on the application and would now like to tell me the real story, I am DONE with them. I will not hire someone that is blatantly dishonest & wastes my time. (…)

Let us put aside the logic (and the probability) of lying in a resume, then storming in and admitting everything in tears to the HR person. Imagine that, blatantly dishonest person wasting the time of a person who manages human resources. Who are you – hungry, cold and in tears – to demand time of such an individual who (BTW) contributes to society how exactly? At least you (if you get hired) would produce something (some code, some wool coats, some fish sticks).

Then, go apply for jobs and be honest on the applications and in interviews.

Honesty = Do NOT Get Hired. Think, please, if you will… How many employees would be hired if they all told the truth on questions such as: what is your weakness, how do handle work with 17 other (random) colleagues, where do you see yourself in 5 years…

That is ridiculous. But let us end with, what I feel, a REALLY sarcastic quote from HR Wench:

Best of luck!